Remembering Baby Boy

We had a little memorial service for our Baby Boy on Saturday, December 15th.  It was hard to figure out the right thing to do.  I initially had ideas of doing something in the woods next to our house, but never felt at peace with it.  Finally, I remembered a little creek the boys and I had found.  It was the perfect spot for us.  While Christmas shopping at Ross, I came across the perfect little rock for us to leave down by the creek (after we wrote a message on it, of course.)  I went to grab flowers the night before!  It took me forever!  I stared at all the different kinds.  Once I decided to go with bright colors, I had to look through every single bouquet until I found the one that seemed the most perfect.  I was happy with my choice.  I decided we should all wear bright colors, then all the bright got covered up with jackets.  These are just silly little details, but they were important to me.

Our pastor and friend, Ron, met us to do a little service.  His wife and our friend, Stefani, took pictures. I feel like pictures will tell the story best:

When we arrived at the park and unloaded, the kids found the pictures I brought.  Elliot was showing Levi and he was saying "the baby came out of Mommy's tummy and went to heaven."  He says it frequently, I think just to verbalize and remind himself about what happened.

We walked down to the creek where I wanted to do the service....

The controlling person in me hung back, and Elliot set everything up exactly how she wanted.  Nice and spread out.  She had the flowers, then pictures, then our little rock.  The boys knocked the pictures over so many times, that she eventually buried the bottom part of the frame with sand in hopes of keeping it upright.  She never got mad.  It was so sweet to watch her prepare everything and get it 

"just so."

T

Ron talked with us about Jesus.  About Jesus saying, "let the little children come to me."  How the kids little brother was safe with Jesus now.  The words he said were perfect comfort to me soul!  He also read Psalm 139, about how perfectly Jesus knew this baby, formed it, and had it's days numbered before one of them came to be.

After Ron prayed, we all floated flowers down the creek.  The kids all remember putting a flower on their Pops "basket" (AKA Casket) at his funeral, so I thought this would be good for them.  They were so excited.  I suppose throwing things is always fun!

 Levi threw his first one.  He had been throwing sticks in the creek all morning, and suggested we throw our rock we brought in the water too!  

Elliot throwing a flower to remember her baby brother

 Ezra was having a rough morning.  Didn't feel well and just wanted me close. I helped him get his flower to toss in.

Wes and Joel.  Joel did a great job throwing his flower in!  WOW!  Even our "Baby Joel" has a baby brother!

 Some of the flowers.... floating away..... (sometimes there is such beauty in symbolism)

The back of our rock "11/28/12 In Memory of our Baby Boy.  Precious son and little brother.  We Love You!  Daddy, Mommy, Elliot, Levi, Ezra, and Joel"

Us, sad.

Wes found a great spot, off the beaten path, under a tree for our rock to stay (hopefully!)

Many thanks to my friends that encouraged me to have some sort of service.  For telling me to do whatever felt right for us!  I really do appreciate it!  It was such great closure for me.  I dreaded it and was excited about it.  I'm happy we did it and that it's over!