I went to pick my boys up from preschool today and one mom was chatting with some other ladies about how horrified she was when her daughter asked "How did the babies (twins) get in your tummy?" She told her "God put them there" and all the other moms were giggling and agreeing that that was a good answer. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I could not wait for my children to ask me where babies come from. I wanted to start the conversation early, yet on their terms.
Children need to know the truth! God doesn't just pop a baby in a mommy's tummy. A stork doesn't drop them off either. Do you want your "little girl" showing up pregnant because YOU never taught her about her body? About eggs and ovulation? About sperm and sex? Do you want your son out fooling around because he didn't know he had half the baby in him? It's not a school or churches responsibility to teach kids these things, it's the parents!
I'm obviously no professional, so you can take or leave this advice: start young! For starters, call body parts what they are. Girls don't have a "who ha" or a "va jay jay". Nope, they have a vagina. Boys: yup, it's a penis, not a "willy," "slong," or "wenis." I don't find anything wrong with saying something silly occasionally, but kids also need to know the real words. My boys have heard the term "balls," and "sac," but they also know those are called testicles inside a scrotum. If you can start with proper terminology when they are babies, it's going to make discussing sex so much easier.... unless you want to say "a man puts his weenie inside a woman's tee tee and some stuff squirts in and makes a baby" (and then you chuckle because you just said the dumbest thing EVER!)
Don't stop with teaching them about the parts they see on the outside. Tell them what's on the inside. Talking about a girls eggs is what started the whole topic of sex with our children. My daughter knows that she will ovulate (and my boys like to go pretend they are laying eggs. They can't quite figure out the difference between a chicken and a woman!) They also know what a period is. I don't hide it from them. It's not a secret. It's a natural part of life and growing up. Even the boys know what it is. Surprise-it's not a drop of blood the size of a "period" once a month. No. No. No. (you'd be surprised how many guys think or thought this!)
Kids are pretty cool. They are super curious. In fact, one of mine asks us to "tell (him) everything in the world (we) know." I think we are doing our kids a disservice if we refuse to tell them the truth. God made their bodies-quite amazingly! He made them each with desires for the opposite sex. He made them to eventually fit perfectly with someone else and to create children. It's all miraculous and needs to be treated as such. Who wants to be all "hush hush" about a miracle? NOT ME!
If talking about this scares you, but you are seeing the importance of it-go get a book! There are tons of books out there that you can read to your children. Find one that you like, is age appropriate for your child, and buy it. We had a book. It was a little cheesy, but at least it started the dialogue. Now, my kids know they can ask us anything about how babies are made and they will get an HONEST answer.
Coming Out (birth)
The little girl also inquired about how the babies came out and the mom was happy she could tell her the truth and say, "The doctors cut them out of my tummy." My children each know how they were born. In fact, they frequently ask me to tell them about the day they were born. (Pretty sure the boys just like me reenacting screaming my head off, holding the first and then quickly handing him off to scream some more while Daddy held "B's" head down in my belly) They think of coming out a vagina as a very natural thing- they never once acted like that was unusual or scary. When they learned that baby J was cut out, their faces grimaced! You could tell they thought that was terrible! God designed our bodies to give birth and it's absolutely okay for our children to know this!
If your child(ren) were born naturally, TELL THEM! Tell them that a woman's body is created to do an amazing thing. If they were born via c-section-tell them, and then let them know how the majority of babies in the world are born. C-sections can be a fantastic way to be born-saved my life and my little Joel's, but they shouldn't be the "norm." Kids shouldn't grow up thinking that the normal way to be born is to be "cut out!" What little girl is going to want to grow up to have a baby if she imagines an operating room, knives, and her stomach being sliced open and a baby pulled out of it?! Don't you think it'd be much more comforting to a girl to imagine relaxing, loved ones, and calmly pushing her child out of her body into her arms? I sure do!
*Also, I am not blaming a parent if their child has an unexpected pregnancy. If you teach your child about these things, then they make informed choices and live with the outcomes.
*I welcome your comments! If you disagree with my perspective, please tell me why. I don't want to hear "that's too much for a little kid to know"....I want the why. Thanks!
