38 weeks old

Sweet Joel,

You are 8 weeks old today. Really, I like to think that you've just been out of my belly for 8 weeks, I've known you for a lot longer than that! We've been through a lot together little man. You really are such a miracle. When I had just known about you for 2 weeks, I thought I was losing you. I was dealing with the thought of losing my little baby, but when I went in for an ultrasound a few days later your little heart was beating perfectly! This happened 3 more times: I'd end up going to the hospital and sure enou

gh, you were snug in my belly growing strong. It was such a relief to see your beautiful heart beating. In order to keep you in my belly and safe, the doctor wanted Mommy on bed rest. You and I spent lots of time together on the couch. It was nice to sit back and watch your brothers and sisters interact. I'm sure you are use to all the noise by now. I loved feeling you kicking and squirming around-another indicator that you were okay.

After having all this one-on-one time with you, God decided it was time for you to be born. I know it was His decision because it was too perfect to be anyone else's. You could have stayed in my belly and we would have both been very sick from infection. Instead, my water broke and indicated to the doctors that you needed to com out and meet us in person. Even though you didn't come right home to us, I got to spend lots of time holding you, loving you, talking to you, and praying over you in the NICU. We met some amazing people in there too. Although having you in the hospital isn't anything I would have ever wanted or wished for, I really can't imagine it any other way. I think I grew a lot stronger having to go through it, maybe even a little more open to my emotions. It was hard and I realized it was okay to cry for you somedays. Just one more way God is teaching me to be empathetic toward others, and not judging situation I have never experienced.

You've been home with us, sleeping next to me every night, nursing whenever you want, and being loved on by so many people for the last 2 weeks.  You've grown! Your lowest weight was 3lb 3oz and you now weigh 7lb 6oz. You gained ONE POUND in this last week alone. I'm so proud of you and how strong you have been for your entire life (All 38 weeks of it, not just the last 8). I love you little bubba! Thank you for surprising us by joining our family. You, every part of you, is such a miracle and I hope you always know this!