31 weeks

So, I'm now 31 weeks pregnant. I had an appt. with the doc. today. How 'bout I start with the positives: the babies are doing great. "A's" heartrate was 144 and "B's" was 156. I have gained 4 lbs. in 2 weeks (up to 134 now!) and blood pressure is great. I measure 34 cm, 3 bigger than with a single baby. Every aspect of our health is excellent!! Couldn't ask for anything else in regards to this.

Now, I'll move on to the negative: I pretty much can't stand the doctor! They wanted to do a cervical exam and I told the nurse that I probably wasn't going to do that. So, when the doctor storms in the room the first thing he says he how I do NOT have a choice in the matter! Woah...excuse me? I don't have a choice? Either I say no or you're raping me...so yes, I do believe I have a choice. (Don't worry-I didn't say that to him!) He mentions how I come in every week with something to say and yah, I agree with him. (I'm in tears by this point). I'm not stupid. I have done a lot of research on birth and what is healthy for me and my babies. Apparently most people just do whatever he says. I want to know WHY he wants to do things. He said he'll just write "refuses exam" in my chart. I say GREAT! Seriously, what's so hard about writing that?! As I'm crying, I just try to tell him that he needs to understand that there is nothing I would do to hurt my babies! So very frustrating. I pretty much left there feeling like the most disagreeable patient there ever was (or at least I think that's how they perceive me) and the worst mom ever too. I just pray that the way he treated me today doesn't reflect how he plans to treat me during the birth-this is my greatest fear!

I'm forced to think what it must be like to have a job where everyone just does what you say. I can't imagine if everyday Elliot did everything I said without question. OH my goodness--how nice! But, life isn't like that. And, what if I just got really mad at her everytime she questioned what I told her? All I can say is I'd be one mad person! haha. It's good to be questioned. Makes you have reason for what you're doing, not just habit. I mean, what other profession does everyone do what they're told-simply because they are told? Can't think of one.

*I just went and listened to my hypnobirthing MP3 and am feeling a bit better--it's just encouraging :-) YAH for hypnosis!

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Now for some more explanation on my refusing exams for those of you that care and want to know this stuff. Or, if you (I honestly have no idea who even reads this blog to begin with) think I'm crazy and want to know if I really have valid reasons for my thinking/actions. First, ANY kind of exam can introduce infection into the body. Why risk it? It can also irritate the cervix causing it to dilate, bleed, change, etc. Then, you get to what the recommendations are if I was dilating. According to the doc. he would send me to the hospital for Tributaline (sp?) or bedrest. The only reason (as far as I know) to use the drug Tributaline would be to stop contractions-which I am not having. If I was just dilated a little and not contracting...this wouldn't be beneficial. According to the doctor I can be having contractions and not know it. I feel quite aware of my body. I do have some Braxton Hicks contractions but don't feel they are changing my body in any way. Then, we get to the issue of bedrest. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) has done research on this and doesn't recognize any benefit to bedrest for stopping cervical dilation. So, if I'm dilating because my body is ready to dilate, then that's just how it's going to be. If I start having contractions that need to be stopped, I'll be the first to go to the hospital to get the med's. I'm not ignorant of the benefits of medical intervention when they are necessary. :-)